Time remains frozen in Spokane by @thenatewolf

spokane

Technology has grown leaps and bounds in the last 15 years. Video technology in particular has advanced to almost life-like images. With Avatar pioneering amazing 3D landscapes, video has never been a more effective way of capturing what is truly current. Except in Spokane, Washington.

While most news outlets have adopted HD cameras and the newest fashions for their anchors, every news source located in Spokane has stuck to their guns and remained stuck in the early 90’s. You may have noticed this while watching a current program and then seeing the jarring flip to a Spokane news update. The video is poor and the haircuts poorer.

Be it the near worthless standard definition cameras or the perms and shoulder padded suit jackets, if your mom wore it when you were in elementary school, these guys have it.

“Spokane is just a special place” said news anchor Tawny Lane “some small towns have that vibe that they are straight out of the 50’s. Spokane is like that except here Kurt Cobain is still alive and Pearl Jam is a band worth listening to.”

“Portland is a lot like Spokane except in Portland it is hipsters doing it to be alternative” said Spokanian Dirk Leduke “In Spokane we just really believe in the music of Terrance Trent Darby, Jurassic Park merchandise and quoting the Simpsons.

But Spokane has its critics as well.

“It is embarrassing to us all” said local cinematography student Chaz Chazzy “I know that you can buy good cameras in this town. I don’t know why I have to turn on the news and feel like I’m watching my tapes of the O.J trial.”

Nobody knows for sure why Spokane is so hack when it comes to local news. Some say low budgets, some claim a Luddite conspiracy. Whatever the reason, if you ever feel the need to be transported to a time when tying your sweater around your waist was still okay and POG stock was at its peak; just flip it over to the Spokane feed of any major network.

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