“Can I Say Something?” is a weekly editorial column from our conservative contributor Stone Carlson.
Can I say something?
I’m starting to grow pretty tired the kids of today. I mean all of them: Generation X, Generation Next AND The Pepsi Generation. Our nations have lost their way in the last few years and it is starting to show in the entitled, greedy, selfish, youths who don’t do a damn thing but demand more, more, more!
When did we let our children get so demanding?
Should we, the baby-boomers, blame ourselves?
Of course not, dummy. It’s the Internet’s fault.
These stupid kids got on the world-wide web and they figured out how to use it better than us and they started talking to each other and they started reading stuff and learning about stuff and now they think they are King Shits.
Well, they aren’t. They are just a bunch of lazy, brats.
Take this tweet for example from 21-year-old college student, @Jay_Blackhawks:
“Really hope that congress can do something to help subsidize tuition, I am really struggling to pay my bills and I’m worried I might have to drop out of school.”
I bet you would like that, Chairman Mao. Do you think that’s what our grandfathers died for? You think they starved to death on the wagon train so that their kids and grandkids and great-grand kids could go to college and build a better life than they had? You’re a pinhead.
Take this little piece of socialist propaganda that 17-year-old high school student Brie Tanner posted on her Facebook page:
“Just read that if we maintain commercial fishing at our current rate we will deplete the ocean in 50 years! I really hope we can find a way to live more responsibly and hold companies accountable for actions that affect the whole planet. I know it seems bleak but I believe we can find a solution if we all make some sacrifices and work together!”
Okay, Che Guevara, why don’t we just start using rocks as money again? There is a little something called the stock market that we grown ups have to worry about. You might have heard of it, you stupid idiot. It’s where money goes and they make stocks and those stocks are in computers and then they make more money… with the computers… and the stocks get bigger… you will understand when you GROW UP!!!
When are these kids going to wake up, smell the coffee, get their heads out of the clouds and stop living in a dream world?
Yeah, I bet you wish that your parents weren’t leaving you a planet full of unsolvable fiscal, environmental and sociological problems.
I bet you hope that there will be clean air to breath and that the places that are above water stay that way.
I bet you would settle for just a modicum of self-restraint or foresight from the generation of insatiable scoundrels that currently control this planet… I wish I had an iPad when I was a kid, but I didn’t, tough titties. The sooner you learn that dreams are only wishes that ghosts make, the better.
In conclusion I would like to say something directly to the useless, greedy, burdensome children. An old axiom:
“When you are young, you are liberal because you think with your heart. When you are old, you are conservative because you don’t think at all and your hearing is shit so you can’t hear all the important stuff your heart is telling you and also you get tired so you just kind of check out and start acting like a monster.”
Think about it, you lazy dunces.