Classical Ecologist, Wilhelm Dawes, Treatise on Watermelons by @Adair_Sinclair


The excessive growth of watermelons as caused by human cultivation has completely thrown off the earth system. The watermelon is the earth’s talisman of water. There is a type of melon talisman for each of the elements (firemelon, airmelon, and earthmelon) and they must stay in perfect balance for the earth system to operate properly. Obviously they are not in perfect balance.

Over the centuries, watermelon has been spread and cultivated all across the world and the amount of watermelons far outnumbers airmelons, firemelons and earthmelons. Perhaps before I go any further I’ll explain the other melons.

  • Earthmelons, being the inverse of watermelons are spherical concentrations of sacred rock and mud that are found deep in the oceans.
  • Airmelons are breaths found in the lungs of great and noble men such as His Highness, The King; or His Holiness, The Pontus of Rome.
  • Firemelons are the most mysterious; many alchemists believe they are found in volcanoes or in the hearts of temptresses but no hard evidence points to either. It used to be thought that stars were firemelons until the enlightenment revealed that they are aethermelons.
  • Aethermelons are simply the stars.

I believe that the many natural disasters that take place on a regular basis are being caused by this imbalance. If we were to completely stop our consumption of watermelons and stop growing them in such large quantities, I believe many of our problems would sort themselves out. You see, when we have so many different water talismans commanding the oceans; the waters get confused and disobey, which causes great grief and tragedy.

Having a balanced earth system is imperative. To make this more real, I’ll borrow an analogy from medicine. When the body is being overrun by one humor, a doctor must rightfully unburden the body of that humor. In the same way that phlegm overruns the dirty vagrants of the street, so does water overrun the earth system in its present state.

It’s up to us to solve these problems, so I call all fellows of reason and cipher to search with me for answers.

Written by Wilhelm Dawes


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