Fixed These Emojis For You by @tarashoe

the current emoji library is so limiting. i looked through all of part of them once sort of. there’s hardly anything useful in there. so i’ve painstakingly adjusted a few, for your convenience. ok

crying because in loveCrying Because In Love
i bet someone once said something like, “love is worth the pain.” i bet it wasn’t the dumbguy who made that last round of emojis and left this badboy out 

2_emoji_sleepingcryingCrying While Sleeping
seems like people would use this one fairly regularly? 2_emoji_sleepingcrying

3_emoji_swimsuitOne Piece Swimsuit
look, i’m all for self-confidence, so long as it’s expected of your self and not my self. before this groundbreaking emoji, the only swimsuit option available was a bikini. my text recipient needs to know that i prefer wearing something with more coverage—maybe with those like, boy-short bottoms—while soaking up some rays in the fetal position 3_emoji_swimsuit

4_emoji_sunglassescryingCrying While Wearing Sunglasses
shocked to see this emoji didn’t already exist. it demonstrates the very logical act of wearing sunglasses while crying, in public, outside, midday, once to twice per week, while soaking up some rays in the fetal position 4_emoji_sunglassescrying

5_emoji_vampirebabyVampire Baby
the original baby emoji was inaccurate. it didn’t have gauged ears and wasn’t even a vampire 5_emoji_vampirebaby

6_emoji_dancerMaybe She Doesn’t Fucking Feel Like Dancing
did you ever consider that? maybe she just wants to chill and get some shit done tonight, yknow 6_emoji_dancer

7_emoji_middlefingersMiddle Fingers
finally, an emoji with both hands giving the finger. even has the sparkly shit in between them, which had previously been WASTED on that prayer hands emoji 7_emoji_middlefingers

Kissing My French Fries
self-explanatory. imagine conducting a text conversation without this. impossible 8_emoji_frenchfrykiss

9_emoji_professionalchickenChicken Wearing A Necktie
this is a professional chicken. it has its act together. try sending it to an unemployed friend. remind them of the chicken and its success 9_emoji_professionalchicken

10_emoji_nailsAccurate Fingernails Without the Nail Polish Application
this is what my fingernails usually look like. the nail polish is never not chipped. “but tara,” you say in my head, “this looks kind of phallic. like they look like dicks to me.” ok, that’s fine 10_emoji_nails

so many shoe emojis, and not a single croc. come on. come on 11_emoji_croc

12_emojis_wordsWord Emojis
there are some phrases you say so often that you don’t want to bother typing them again and again. here’s your answer

you’re welcome for fixing these emojis for you.

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