Sweet Love: the George Lopez & Tim Allen story by @hammerfist3

 

 

George Lopez: I’m so wet

 

Tim Allen: I’m Also wet

 

Georg: Want to gently kiss?

 

Tim: I have the Tools, at this Time (my lips)

 

*they smooch*

 

[Later That Night]

*Tim Allen answers the door in a bathrobe*

 

Tim: George what are you doing here?

 

George Lopez: I can’t stop thinkin of you

 

*Tim Allen rips off his Nice Jeans*

Tim Allen: Come on in (winks at camera)

 

George Lopez: Oh my

 

Tim: Is something wrong?

 

George: I’m nervous

 

Tim Allen: Don’t be nervous, George Lopez, I don’t bite…much

 

George Lopez: Okay but let’s take things slow

 

Tim: Slow, but also sensual….

 

*Tim Allen leans in close to george & gently licks his ear lobe*

Tim Allen: I will treat you right, George Lopez.

 

George Lopez: Mama Mia!

 

George Lopez: *pulls away* Yo do you ever put a dildo on a power drill?

 

Tim Allen: I think you already know the answer to that, George…

 

George Lopez: I have become hard

 

Tim Allen: Glad to hear that seeing as we are both older gentlemen who might usually have trouble with that

 

*They both laugh*

 

George Lopez: (while taking off his pants) … I can still get hard at any time.

 

Tim Allen: Me too

 

George: I’m hard. Now.

 

Tim Allen: I purchased a gallon jug of KY jelly.

 

George Lopez: I have Twister the game.

 

Tim: Let’s butter each other up.

 

George: I got this!

 

*Classic 80’s montage of Tim Allen & George Lopez naked, lubed up, & playing Twister*

 

George Lopez: Well that was fun

 

Tim Allen: So much fun

 

*Tim Allen & George Lopez light cigarettes*

 

Tim: Our wives would be upset if they found out.

 

George Lopez: That we make love?

 

Tim: Yeah.

 

George Lopez: I don’t care who knows Tim, I love you.

 

Tim Allen: And I love you George, I love you so hard.

 

George: Give me that cock, Tim.

 

*Tim Allen gives George Lopez the cock*

 

George: I like being on bottom.

 

Tim: Shut your trap you slut I’m trying to cum.

 

George: oh my so bad

 

*Tim Allen and George Lopez fuck for hours*

 

George Lopez: My Asshole is sore.

 

Tim Allen: Yeah me too, I have to go home to my wife.

 

[Tim Allen’s Home]

 

Tim Allen’s Wife: Tim you smell like sex what have you been doing?

 

Tim Allen: Definitely not having sex with George Lopez

 

Tim Allen’s Wife: Why do you smell like George Lopez sweat?

 

Tim Allen: How do you know that smell?

 

Tim Allen’s Wife: We do Pilates together.

 

Tim Allen: Alright you’ve caught me, I am love Geroge Lopez.

 

Tim Allen’s Wife: Go to him…I understand true love, Tim. Go be with him.

 

[1 hour later at George Lopez’s house]

*cops are all over the place*

 

Tim Allen: What happened here where is George?

 

Cop number 1: He’s dead.

 

*Tim Allen falls to his knees in tears*

Tim Allen: It can’t be true

 

Cop Number 2: He’s dead.

 

Tim: If only I could stroke his cock once more.

 

Cop Number 2: … What..

 

Tim Allen: (crying) I miss his creamy brown cock, I miss his his smile, I miss my George Lopez.

 

Cop Number 1: Oh my

 

Tim Allen: (aside to self) just as we didn’t have to hide our love anymore…He leaves this planet. This is truly tragic. I need to have sex.

 

*Tim Allen’s pink Motorola Razr rings 3 times & he finally picks up*

Tim Allen: Hello?

 

Al Borland: Tim, I heard the sad news Want some cock?

 

Tim Allen: How did you know that’s what I needed? This is like a message from the stars.

 

Al Borland: More like a message for your asshole.

 

[Later that night, motel room]

 

Tim Allen: Al you treat my ass so right

 

Al Borland: Yeah better than Georg ever did

 

Tim: *Gasp* Al, please no

 

Al Borland: Whatever Tim, he’s dead.

 

Tim Allen: How can you just say it like that.

 

Al: I don’t give a fuk.

 

Tim: I think you should leave.

 

Al Borland: I WAS ALWAYS IN GEORGE’S SHADOW IN YOUR EYES. THATS WHY I MURDERED HIM, TIM, SO I CAN BE WITH YOU.

 

 

Tim Allen: You’re a monster..

 

 

[flashback of Al Borland choking the fuck out of George Lopez]

Al Borland: you’ll never suck a cock again.

 

George Lopez: (dying) Al… why..

 

Al Borland: (covered in Lopez Blood) For Tim, that’s why George you dead fuck, I did it for Tim. I LOVE HIM. I NEED HIS SWEET ASS.

 

Scene returns to Tim Allen & Al Borland]

Al Borland: Why didn’t you love ME Tim?

 

Tim Allen: Because I love George Lopez, you are Trash, Al.

 

*Tim Allen revving a chainsaw*

Tim Allen: Goodbye Al

 

Al Borland: Tim what are you doing?

 

*Tim Allen cuts Al Borland’s legs off*

 

*Al Screams*

 

*Tim Allen, covered in blood, stands over Al Borland’s dismembered body, and weeps*

 

Tim Allen: What has my life come to

 

 

(30 min of Silence)

 

 

A beautiful light shines down from the sky.

 

*George Lopez slowly descends from the heavens*

 

George Lopez’s Ghost: Hey Tim! How’s it going?

 

*Silver tears fall down Tim Allen’s Face*

Tim Allen: George Is that you?

 

George Lopez: Yes Tim, but I’m dead

 

Tim: You’re still so spicy hot.

 

George Lopez: I know, Tim. I miss your hard cock, but I must return. I only appeared to tell you I love you.

 

Trim Allen: No…. don’t leave.

 

*George Lopez’s Ghost starts to drift away into the clouds*

 

Tim Allen: GEORGE NO. TAKE ME WITH YOU!

 

*George does his classic shoulder shrug*

 

*Tim Allen starts crying uncontrollably. He whips his hard cock out & starts to furiously masturbate to George Lopez’s fading image*

 

*As George Lopez fades away forever, Tim Allen falls to his knees, weeping*

Tim Allen: I’ll be there with you soon, George Lopez. I love you

 

*Tim Allen shakily raises a golden bejeweled glock to his head & pulls the trigger.*

 

[fade to black]

 

[lights open up on Tim Allen & Satan]

 

Tim Allen: Where am I? Is this Heaven? Where is my sweet George Lopez?

 

Satan: This is Hell, Tim Allen. Welcome

 

Tim: Fuck.

 

Satan: Yes, let’s.

 

The End.

(Tide is High by Blondie plays)

[Credits roll over a scene of Tim Allen gettin dicked down by Satan while George Lopez looks down from heaven, crying & jerking off]

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