Synopses Of TV Programs By A Guy Who Doesn’t Really Watch Any Of The Shows by @aka_fatman

New_TV_on_a_showroom_floor_in_Tallahassee,_Florida

Maybe you’ve been hiding away from society. You’re a survival nut who has been in a nuclear bunker for a decade. Or you’ve emerged from a cave, confused. Perhaps you’ve been stranded on a deserted island for years with no one but a volleyball to keep you company. Whatever the reason, once you’ve clipped your unruly hair, showered, suppressed thoughts of re-joining a wolf pack (or whatever) and started a new job you’re going to need to know about some popular TV shows. Here are some synopses for a few.

Disclaimer: I haven’t SEEN any of the shows. I’m just a guy with a learning difficulty who has seen the posters of these things and have amassed snippets of knowledge through eavesdropping on conversations (I wasn’t invited to). This is what I’ve pieced together:

BREAKING BAD (2008-2013)

Going by the poster here, I’m guessing the main guy (Bryan Cranston) plays our eponymous hero from this aptly titled show- Brad. He’s an accountant by the looks of things and probably has a catchphrase like, “Hey! Where are my pants?” which the writers work into every episode. His estranged son, Jesse (played by Eminem), gives some much-needed comic relief. After Brad gets fired in the first episode, the two of them travel cross-country in a beat up old RV as they try their luck finding the fabled Blue Crystals which will bring them fame and fortune.

BONES (2005-Present)

Charming detective Bonesy McBones (David Boreanaz) has a secret: one of his arms is skeletal! With a penchant for women and dice gambling, his world is rocked upside down when his sexy new police partner, Zooey (Emily Deschanel), turns up. Can he hide his hideous skeleton arm long enough while he attempts to break the gypsy’s curse that caused his arm to wither?

GAME OF THRONES (2011-Present)

King Jeffery (Sean Bean) has it tough. As the head of the much loved Stork family, he had to rule his kingdom, his daughters and his pet dragons: all from the least comfortable throne in the world. His dopey sidekick, an invisible dwarf seen only by him (Peter Dinklage) keeps the laugh coming thick and fast as Jeffrey sticks his neck out time and again for his family. Watch as Jeffery’s character grows from season to season from the stuck-up know-it-all from season one until the latest season where he has learned to listen…to his heart.

SOPRANOS (1999-2007)

Surly Tony Soprano (George Costanza) has got a surprisingly beautiful singing voice. His loving family (all classically-trained opera singers) are supportive of his efforts. They won’t stop believing in his incredible talents but will his blue-collar workmates understand his passion? His only chance is to wow them all at the New Jersey Soprano Competition.

NAKED & AFRAID (2013-Present)

Um. I don’t know. It’s a dating show of some kind?

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