It was a brisk night, the midnight moon was a decorative platter hung on the wall of the star filled sky. Moonlight shone down upon a small hill, studded with three trees, Elm, Oak, & Mulberry. A small man with ass cheeks no bigger than peas appeared suddenly. Who was he? A friend? A foe? Perhaps just some regular guy? Well you can decide that for yourself. But first, some back story.
Timothaniel Crabbingham was a small man, a very small man about the size of a mouse. A very small mouse. Timothaniel was born to a completely normal family, they had no idea of his existence however.
Timothaniel was born a few hours after his older brother Michael. You see, after returning home from the hospital with her newborn son Michael, Lisa Crabbingham unknowingly gave birth to a second son. He just kind of fell out of her vagina onto the carpeted floor below, kinda like a marble rolling down a cardboard paper towel tube. Unlike most newborn babies, Timothaniel was born very mature, comparable to a 5-year-old child. Completely aware of his situation he scurried off with his umbilical cord between his legs.
Timothaniel weened himself off of crumbs & mouse milk from his pet mouse until he was old enough to go out into the world in search of better food. He always tried to get the attention of his parents & his brother Michael however they never heard his little yelps. Timothaniel decided that since his mother didn’t know of his existence he would have to give himself a name until she did.
“I really like the name Timothy” he thought to himself.
“But I also really like the name Nathaniel” he continued to muse.
“I better just go by Timothaniel, that’s what any reasonable person would do” he finally concluded.
Timothaniel grew up watching television, & reading his brother Michael’s homework at night time. You see, he couldn’t attend school due to his extremely small size so he educated himself. After years of growing & learning , Timothaniel ventured all over his family’s home, he left messages, droppings, all sorts of clues for his family to find, but no one ever did. He was beaten, tired, he had worked so hard his entire life to just gain attention from his family, but nothing seemed to work.
One evening Timothaniel returned to his small hole in the wall behind the couch & started to drink beer out of a bottle cap.
“Psst” came a noise from the darkness.
The sound came from within the small stable which Timothaniel kept his pet mouse.
“Pss.t I can help you” it spoke.
Timothaniel grabbed a sewing needle, “Who is that in my home?” he yelled “What have you done to my pet mouse?”
“It is I Tomothaniel” the voice replied.
Out of the darkness came Timothaniel’s pet mouse.
“What the fuck you can talk?” Said Timothaniel.
“Yes” said the mouse, “and I can tell you how you can grow big like the ones you love”
“Okay hold up tho, if you could talk this whole time how come you never stopped me when I milked you all these years?” questioned Timothaniel.
“Because I secretly liked it.” said the mouse.
“That’s fucking weird dude” said Timothaniel.
“I know” said the mouse, “I know”
“So tell me how to grow big” said Timothaniel.
“Okay” said the mouse.
Then the mouse told Timothaniel how to grow big. It must not be written in this tale however, for dark magic used by perverse mice is not something you should be reading.
This brings us back to the moonlit hill crest, studded with trees, Elm, Oak, & Mulberry. Timothaniel emptied a brown sack onto the grass at his knees. Each strange item the mouse had told him to acquire, it took him four days to find all the odd bits & ends & scuttling bugs. Timothaniel painted an odd symbol on the ground & arranged the components around it. He started to chant the sacred words of old.
“Rrumbus bumbus, fungus mungus.”
He stabbed into the earth with his sewing needle & a bright yellow beam of light shot into the sky.
Timothaniel woke up on the hill the next morning. He was completely naked & curious as to why the trees had shrunk.
“Oh my it worked!” He said!
Timothaniel was big. He was a full grown man with happiness in his big heart. However his dick was still just as small as before, which really fucking sucks. But he was too happy to care.
Timothaniel ran all the way home to his family, he wanted to tell them everything. He wanted to tell them he loved them.
Upon entering the house his mother, Lisa screamed.
“I’m your little baby boy!” Said Timothaniel
“Get the fuck out of my house I’m calling the cops” replied his mother.
After hours of yelling & struggle, the police took Timothaniel away to prison. A man with no identity, a very small dick, & charges with breaking & entering, as well as public indecency. Word around these parts is that Timothaniel is still in jail, constantly mocked by the inmates about his little dick.