Foreplay Ideas by @1followernodad

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  1. Cut up photos of your stepdad, Steven, together.
  2. Get sangria drunk and take turns “riding” the dog. (But don’t actually putting any weight on him).
  3. Each steak nachos together until you can barely move. Hold the sour cream so that you stop short of actually being immobile and you can still fuck with your queso-filled bellies.
  4. Get in an über and try to romance the driver. The first one to get “a bite” The other has to pay for the uber and go down on that person for 8 straight hours when you do finally get home.
  5. Re-watch all of Rock of Love. Every single season.
  6. Get a prenup.
  7. Throughout the day send each other texts of suspicious moles you have.
  8. While out with your friends, pull your guy into a corner and whisper satanic rituals in his ear then leave abruptly and pout when he doesn’t follow you even though you gave him no clues as to where you were.
  9. Remind your girlfriend of all her shortcomings.
  10. Think about how bad of parents you guys would be. Remember your friend’s bearded dragon Anthony that you killed in 3 days? This is a great path for romance.
  11. Light a firecracker then throw it through your neighbors window. Laugh hysterically. Laughter is the best aphrodisiac.
  12. Keeping in the same vein, get undressed, stand in front of each other and just laugh at the body your significant other has.
  13. Act out scenes from War & Peace. In the nude. In front of your parents.
  14. Get really into a local amateur darts league. Fuck someone else on your darts team. Breed some jealousy. Jealousy is hot.
  15. Shave your girlfriend’s head while she’s sleeping and film her reaction. This is not a foreplay tip, actually. She’ll probably leave you. I just want to see that happen.
  16. Watch Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron. Idk it always gets me horny.
  17. Food is sexy. Spoon-feed each other some garlic mashies.
  18. Nothing like the thrill of being caught. Fingerblast her right in the middle of a brewery tour.
  19. Compliments work wonders! Tell him he is “ok” and “will do for where you are in your life right now.”
  20. Tie up your partner and leave them there for days.
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