A man-sized rabbit has managed to infiltrate the White House in the building’s first breach in over a month, sources confirmed Tuesday.
The intruder reportedly managed to burrow his way up from the ground, an impressive feat given the building’s massive underground command center.
Agent Elmer Fudd, who has since resigned at the suggestion of his speech therapist, was the first to apprehend the rodent when it appeared on the scene.
The rabbit reportedly incorrectly identified Mr. Fudd as a doctor, while greedily nibbling on a carrot that had seemingly come from nowhere. The then-agent called for backup, and a small altercation ensued, after which Mr. Fudd somehow wound up handcuffed to his partner.
The intruder was then said to have procured and examined a map, after which he reportedly expressed his regrets at not having turned left at Albuquerque, New Mexico.
The rodent then reportedly disappeared through the same hole from which he came, leaving behind flecks of carrots and unanswered questions.
Agent Fudd’s partner, who wishes only to be known as “Sam,” confirmed Mr. Fudd’s story, adding, “Varmint.”
Secret Service Director Mel Blanc declined to comment, but is set to hold a press conference at 8:00 PM tonight about the strange and potentially dangerous intrusion.
In the meantime, anyone with information about the now-wanted rabbit is urged to contact the authorities immediately.