“Matt! Matt! It’s me, Ben. Come on man, I know you’re home. I’m a Jedi for chrissake, I can hear your thoughts.”
I did my best to keep quiet and pretend I wasn’t home, but Ben wasn’t letting up. He was always over, boring stuff and smoking my space weed. But, since he’s the only person anywhere nearby on this desolate shithole of Tatooine, I finally relented and opened the door.
“Dude, it’s roasting out here. What took you so long?”
“Sorry, Ben, I was just in the shower, didn’t hear you.”
He ignored my lie and pushed past me, plopping himself on my couch. “Got any chips? I’ve got the munchies like you wouldn’t believe.”
“Sorry, no. What can I do for you, Ben?” I immediately regretted asking.
“Just need some advice I guess. I’m having some people over later – you’re totally welcome to come over by the way – but I need to convince this whiny little farm boy to leave this dump and kill some people. I was thinking of dropping the ‘Darth Vader is your father’ bomb. Whaddaya think?”
“No, I don’t think it’s your place to tell him. That’s between him and his dad.”
“You know what? You’re right. Oooh, I know, I’ll tell him Darth Vader KILLED his father. That’ll fuck him up. You impress me with your intuition, Matt. Maybe there’s some Jedi in you after all.” Ben winked and gave me this really creepy smile.
“Say, Ben, you’re not going to wave your hand and make me do nasty shit to you again…are you?”
“You WANT to do nasty shit again,” he said, waving his hand.