Science Injury Report by @AnOrangeSNES



Star Manhattan Projects scientist Albert Einstein has been carted off the laboratory with a brain fracture. He is expected to be out two six months, and this is right before the big game against the Hiroshima Bombers. Suddenly unknown back-up Captain “Orange Super Nintendo” Kirk is forced into the starting role. This can end in disaster folks!

“Wait? Did I just read that last part right? Who wrote up this press report? They’re all ready starting with Star Trek jokes? It’s like these people don’t even care about science. How rude!” these were the first words I yelled to my squad of scientists. They giggled softly after listening to my rant and watching me toss the press report in the trash.

“More like Captain Jerk!” Robert Oppenheimer mumbled under his breath as the other scientists laughed hysterically. I glared at Oppenheimer and shook my head. How was I supposed to whip these nobody scientists into a team? We had to drop a huge bomb on the Bombers next week, and these losers weren’t going to beat anybody.

An idea! Yes, divine inspiration has just come to me! We will literally drop a bomb on the bombers. A bomb that would be sure to destroy them. I quickly ran to get blueprints and hastily drew up an idea. After finishing, I slammed the poorly scribbles on a desk facing all the other science guys.

“GENTLEMEN BEHOLD, THE H BOMB!” I bellowed as lightning echoed in the background. They shook their heads and mumbled something about Dr. Weird that I ignored completely. My blueprint was literally a crudely drawn picture of a bomb and a plus sign with a giant H. They all sighed heavily and kicked me off the team.

Anyway Oppenheimer totally took my great idea and made it better. I have no idea how he did it, he probably added a few extra H’s to it or something. I’m not good at science, or anything really. The cool thing though is that the Manhattan Projects totally kicked the Hiroshima Bombers asses! Even better, the next week they beat the feared Nagasaki Ninjas completely as well. I take full credit for all of this, you’re welcome America.

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