i wrote a bunch of fake missed connections and got some not-fake responses by @tarashoe

how much information does one need to identify with in order to believe they’re the subject of a craigslist missed connection? no idea. but for fun, i wrote up the most stupid posts i could think of. it was not difficult

then i waited. would anyone respond?

within minutes my inbox was filling up with all the dick pics i never wanted! plus a few actual responses.

some things to note before reading:

  1. you won’t see any of the dick pics i received, because that would be boring as hell
  2. i should have anticipated all of those dick pics, right? wrong, nobody should ever have to anticipate unsolicited dick pics
  3. ok now that i got the whole dick pics thing out of the way
  4. craigslist has a service which allows responders to communicate via an anonymous email address. while most people used this, a few did choose to respond with their real information—full names, phone numbers, oddly serious pictures of their faces, etc. you won’t find that here, either. well, ok i mean i blurred that shit out, anyway
  5. i wrote back to those who seemed to be responding genuinely, explaining what i was doing. despite keeping the descriptions in the posts vague, i felt unreasonably bad about having misled them? i don’t know. look i’m not interested in fishing for any cats
  6. look at this stuff!

 


 

bus

for some additional context here, there are like a dozen different bus lines that run through san francisco’s mission district


 

response_bus_1

you’re right! that bluetooth does look really new in the picture you attached. you’re right. can’t wait to listen to my music on it


 

response_bus_2

it’s a nice day inside the gym


 

response_bus_5

Subject: Re: Boobs


 

response_bus_3

oh whoa, this was easier than i thought. ok see you soon


 

response_bus_4

it did


 


 

angel

for the record, i did see a great beagle on market once


 


 

response_angeldog_1

dear chelsea, nice to meet you stacy


 

response_angeldog_2

white, brown and black spots, 33 – 40.6 cm at the withers


 

response_angeldog_3

yknow you don’t seem as excited about this serendipitous occasion as i imagined you’d be


 


 

knight

every girl dreams of one day finding her perfect knight in shining armor costume


 

response_knight_1

i let her know that this was not real, and that i’m in fact the crazy one, and sorry


 

response_knight_2

let it be known to the man who’s been checking out the girl at queensboro plaza for real: work on those euphemisms


 


 

celeb

while this post merited the most responses, the responder had ONE job to do here and blew it


 

response_celeb_1

look close or closer? why do or would i. what


 

response_celeb_2

thank you


 

response_celeb_3

thank you,


 


 

ted

ted


 

response_ted_1

ted! hey


 

response_ted_2

Ted is Here

response_ted_3

yo BACK OFF MARU, THIS IS MY GAME


 

was this a big stupid waste of my time? you bet it was. yell at me about it @tarashoe

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