why there should be a reality tv show about statues by @knowthyselfie

 

fuck duck dynasty and keeping up with the kardashians and say yes to the dress and american idol and housewives of somethingorother.  there should be a reality tv show about statues.  to explain why this would be an excellent idea i will now list the five key characteristics of reality tv:

  1. it’s real
    …….some reality shows are fake and scripted and that is ridiculous.  statues though??  it’ll be so real there won’t even be dialogue
  2. it’s raw
    do you know how many statues are completely in the nude?  i don’t know either but it is probably a lot.  100% natural, no makeup, no filter, no fake tan, just rust and cracks and missing limbs and all
  3. the people are beautiful. on the outside2 1
  4. it stars people who are going nowhere in life
    statues can’t move
  5. it features exotic locations
    be it the moai statues on easter island or the ancient gods and goddesses in rome, there isn’t an exotic place that doesn’t have statues
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