America’s Got Chefs by @shutupmikeginn & @tarashoe

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TRANSCRIPT “America’s Got Chefs” Aired November 30, 2014 – 8:00 ET

[Begin TITLE SEQUENCE – “AMERICA’S GOT CHEFS” – CHOCOLATE SANTA, LARGE WHOLE FISH]

NARRATOR: Four contestants.

[Begin MONTAGE – CONTESTANT SWEATING INTO DEEP FRYER, CONTESTANT CRYING WITH CANTALOUPE, CONTESTANT SCREAMING ON FLOOR]

NARRATOR: Three meals.

[Begin MONTAGE – SEXY HOLLANDAISE, SANDWICH, CHEF TARA: “Breakfast, lunch and dinner are arguably the three most important meals of the day”]

NARRATOR: Two judges.

[Begin MONTAGE – CHEF MIKE: “You insist on making a fool of me on television? You cook this to insult me?” CHEF TARA: “This isn’t yummy enough! It’s never yummy enough!”]

NARRATOR: One secret ingredient.

[CLOSE ON –  Piece of toast with question mark seared into it]

NARRATOR: Who’s got what it takes to be the next Chef America’s Got?

[GFX – AMERICA’S GOT CHEFS]


[INT – DAY – KITCHEN CONFESSIONAL]

[MUSIC – Soundalike: Nelly Furtado]
SHORT CONTESTANT: I’m 5’1”, a woman, and a chef. People think, “she doesn’t scare me, she’s short” or “she can’t cook, that’s a man’s job.” I’ll prove to the judges that just because I’m a woman, doesn’t mean I don’t belong in the kitchen. Scaring people.

[MUSIC – Soundalike: US Natl Anthem]
SOLDIER CONTESTANT: Cooking in US Army, if there’s one thing you learn, it’s discipline. You cook a meal until the food is done and that’s that. In army they taught us that being hungry means you should eat food, and that I should be the one to cook it. I fed a lot of good buddies out there.

[MUSIC – Soundalike: Rammstein]
TATTOO CONTESTANT: I’m a rock-star executive chef, currently between jobs. People see my tattoos and think, “he doesn’t belong in a kitchen, he should be shredding a guitar, not a block of cheese.” Who cares what anyone thinks of me, and I hope the judges respond to that.

[SFX: High-tech]
ONLINE DEGREE CONTESTANT: I’m a recent graduate from Le Cordon Bleau Online.  I want to see how my skills stack up in a real culinary setting.  Right now I do all of my cooking for my two children. If I get a chance to make my famous Rice Crisp– Rice Crunchie Marshmallow Snacks, watch out, people love them.

[SFX – SWORD BEING UNSHEATHED]


[INT – DAY – COMPETITION KITCHEN]

CHEF MIKE: Welcome to America’s Got Chefs.

CONTESTANTS: Yes, Chef.

CHEF TARA: The first meal you’ll prepare for us is breakfast. It’s important to eat a good breakfast, otherwise you’ll get old and die one day

CHEF MIKE: Breakfast is important, you’ll be expected to serve it in any restaurant open during the morning.

CHEF TARA: Chef Mike and I will be judging your breakfast based on presentation, creativity, and overall yummytime.

CHEF MIKE: And the special ingredient for breakfast is–

[CUT TO – CHEF TARA spilling a bag of ONIONS onto table. Most roll to ground]

CHEF MIKE: Onion


[CUT TO – INT – DAY – KITCHEN CONFESSIONAL]

SHORT CONTESTANT: Where I come from, in my family, onions are sometimes commonly used in some of our meals. This gives me a big advantage over the others. I’m preparing an onion omelette.

SOLDIER CONTESTANT: In Army we’d have breakfast at 5 in the morning, so I had to start cooking it in the middle of the night.  This should be a piece of cake during the daytime. I’m preparing potatoes, with onion.

TATTOO CONTESTANT: I don’t really eat breakfast, so this round is going to be a challenge for me. I’m making loaded breakfast tacos with a special kick.

ONLINE DEGREE CONTESTANT: I’m making the Rice Crunchie Marshmallow Snacks

TATTOO CONTESTANT: It’s Anejo Tequila. That’s the kick

CHEF MIKE: There are 30 minutes on the clock. Do not make me look like an idiot.

[Begin MONTAGE – COOKING]


[CUT TO – INT – DAY – JUDGE’S TABLE]

CHEF TARA: Onion is an interesting ingredient. You have this outside part, and then under that is this other part just like that but smaller, and then under that is more of those parts, and I just gotta keep goin and goin til I get to the pit. Onions are like human people, but more complex.

CHEF MIKE: Chopping onions can make you cry. They’ll need to watch out for that, it could be very embarrassing to cry on television.

CHEF TARA: Yeah I imagine crying on television would be even more embarrassing than crying on stage at a Jersey Shore Chili Cookoff, Regional Divisions, in Allenhurst, summer of ‘98.

CHEF MIKE: Yes, it would be worse than your chili cookoff loss.

CHEF TARA: Two minutes on the clock!

[CUT TO – CONTESTANTS frantically plating food]

CHEF MIKE: One minute!

[CUT TO – CONTESTANTS frantically plating food]

CHEF TARA: Thirty seconds!

[CUT TO – CONTESTANTS frantically plating food]

CHEF MIKE: Ten Seconds!

[CUT TO – CONTESTANTS frantically plating food]

CHEF TARA: 3… 2… 1… Time’s up! No more time stop stop stop stop hey guys

[SFX – WAR DRUMS]


CHEF MIKE: The theme for this meal was onion breakfast. Contestants, please present your dishes.

SHORT CONTESTANT: Hello chefs. I’ve prepared an onion omelette. This dish was inspired by my grandfather. He used to use onions when he cooked.

CHEF TARA: Why doesn’t he use them anymore?

SHORT CONTESTANT: He…passed away. 8 years ago. He was 95 years old. It was so sudden…very unexpected. No one can understand why it happened.

CHEF TARA: You’re super short

SHORT CONTESTANT: Yes, Chef

CHEF MIKE: This omelette: the presentation is excellent, and the aroma is intriguing, why is that?

SHORT CONTESTANT: Yes, chef. I’m lower to the ground, so I can smell the food better.

CHEF MIKE: I should throw your food on the ground. That’s where it belongs. It is foul to me. I hate it.

CHEF TARA: I demanded yummy,


[CUT TO – INT – DAY – KITCHEN CONFESSIONAL]

SHORT CONTESTANT: I’m very nervous at this point, because I know Chef Tara demands yummy, and I’m not sure if the meal I made was yummy.


[CUT TO – INT – DAY – JUDGE’S TABLE]

CHEF TARA: and this is…

[MUSIC – Soundalike: Braveheart Score]

CHEF TARA: adequately yummy

SHORT CONTESTANT: Thank you for your consideration, chefs.


[CLOSE ON – SOLDIER CONTESTANT]

SOLDIER CONTESTANT: Hello chefs.

CHEF TARA: Thank you, soldier.

CHEF MIKE: Thank you, soldier.

CHEF TARA: For everything you do. Did. For all the things you’re doing

SOLDIER CONTESTANT: I prepared this dish for you

CHEF TARA: Thanks

TATTOO CONTESTANT: Thanks, soldier

ONLINE DEGREE CONTESTANT: Thank you, soldier

CHEF MIKE: Thank you soldier, for protecting our freedom.

SHORT CONTESTANT: Thank you

[SFX – SWORD BEING UNSHEATHED]

CHEF TARA: Thank you.

[SFX – SWORD BEING UNSHEATHED]


TATTOO CONTESTANT: For your consideration, breakfast tacos with a special kick.

CHEF MIKE: I would have chosen a different presentation for this dish. You chose a small square plate. This dish belongs on a diaper.

TATTOO CONTESTANT: It’s Anejo Tequila, that’s the kick, the one I mentioned

CHEF MIKE: You play by your own rules?

TATTOO CONTESTANT: Yes chef

CHEF TARA: You ever break the rules that you play by?

TATTOO CONTESTANT: Yes chef

CHEF MIKE: You answer to no one but yourself?

TATTOO CONTESTANT: Yes chef

[SFX – SWORD BEING UNSHEATHED]


ONLINE DEGREE CONTESTANT: Hello Chefs. Here I have for you my breakfast Rice Crunchie Marshmallow Snacks with Whole Onion Salad

CHEF TARA: This Rice Crispy Tr–

ONLINE DEGREE CONTESTANT: Crunchie.

CHEF TARA: This Rice Crispy Crunchie is good, but the Whole Onion Salad seems a little out of place, and undercooked. Like it was an afterthought.

ONLINE DEGREE CONTESTANT: To be honest Chef Tara, I forgot about the onion until the last minute.

CHEF MIKE: Wow, How could you do this to me on television? My children are watching. Don’t even look at me.

CHEF TARA: This is offensive

CHEF MIKE: Don’t look at her either. Look at the ground.

[SFX – SWORD BEING UNSHEATHED]

[SFX – WAR DRUMS]

[SFX – SWORD BEING UNSHEATHED]

[SFX – FLAMES]

NARRATOR: Which contestant will be the Next Chef that America’s Got? And who will get Burned Off?

[MUSIC – Soundalike: Gladiator Score]

[MUSIC – Soundalike: Inception Score]

[CLOSE ON – COVERED PLATTER]

[MUSIC – Soundalike: Terminator Score]

[MUSIC – Soundalike: Batman (1989) Score]

[CLOSE ON – CONTESTANTS]

[MUSIC – Soundalike: Bourne Legacy Score]

[CLOSE ON – ONION]

[MUSIC – Soundalike: Jurassic Park Score]

COMMERCIAL BREAK [To be continued next week]


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