*pulls up shirt to expose jagged scar across chest* And this one, this one I got during the first war on Christmas.
— Ray! (@dragnut) December 19, 2014
My niece wrote a letter to Santa: "I would like to get or be a dragon." Nice that she gave him options.
— Isaac Marion (@isaacinspace) December 21, 2014
Overpacked for Christmas at home again! Someday I'll realize I just need one pair of dirty sweatpants.
— Brandie⚡️Posey (@Brandazzle) December 19, 2014
Wrapped two presents and I'm exhausted. And one was just the thing where you put it in a fancy bag.
— Kevin Seccia (@kevinseccia) December 22, 2014
I'm arranging all your Christmas Cards by number of years your marriage has left based on how forced the smiles are in your family photo.
— Bryan Donaldson (@TheNardvark) December 22, 2014
I saw daddy kissing Santa Claus, blowing Santa, taking sushi making classes with Santa, holding Santa's hand as they battled cancer together
— the garbage shit boy (@davedittell) December 24, 2012
It's time we put the Christ back in JESUS CHRIST KAREN YOU CALL THAT A TREE
— Christopher Sweet (@kingofalltweets) December 8, 2014
For Christmas, Dad, I wanted to give you your money back. We both know that won't happen. Here's a Grisham novel and some eye contact
— Drew Janda (@drewjanda) December 24, 2014