Greetings adventurer I am The Adventurer and this is the written down recordings of my adventure to the moon, my trusty companion and assistant, Mobutu came along the journey for he wasn’t doing anything else and I had expenses paid for two to go on the adventure so I figured why not bring him along, He always used to think the moon was a star until I told him otherwise one evening staring out at them. We had both had our legs bitten by paralyzing snakes so we had to wait for the venom to wear off. we sat there for 2 nights waiting for the stuff to get out of our veins and move again and each time he thought the big one was a star too, till I set him straight on the last morning when he said, “Thats a big star” and we laughed and we laughed when I told him that was once a piece of earth that fell off for some reason and its been keeping our waters at bay ever since, and there was story of a lunar captain up there, who’s story you can read about, but basically Mission Control drove him a little crazy and he ended the rat problem on the moon, but this was a long time ago in a parallel galaxy that advanced father than ours has yet seen possible.
-BRAND REDACTED- is the best kind of -PRODUCT NAME REDACTED-
Exactly the kind of censorship going on for the inhabitants of the 2nd Largest moon base to keep the people from knowing about the desperation of the world around them. Strictly Enforced are the rules in Zeta. Those destined as “Breeders” got strictly monitored as the future bearers of the first generation of moon’s people. The “greeters” were designed to take care of the next generation and teach them skills to move humanity forward but never have kin of their own.
Mobutu barely endured the space elevator ride, he kept squirming in his seat like I had put itching powder in his undergarments (which I had) and he did not laugh when i brought out the fake Rat from my pack and yelled, “Rats on a Space Elevator!”
When we arrived on the moon I insisted that I get to be the one in the drivers seat of the Rover and Mobutu sighed. The Rover rental car guy acted like he’d never seen two grown men in a sprint to the vehicle lot. But Mobutu smoothed things over by saying “Sorry” After I scared the rental man with a fake rat. He nearly Pee’d his space suit from fear. [This is Mobutu speaking, the man didn’t nearly pee himself he simply said, “Fucking jokester” and dismissed us] It was hilarious to watch him squirm like that at the sight of a measly rat.
as we round the bend to moon base zeta i noticed how quiet everything was, the landing zone was hustling and bustling with smelly people but it seemed like zeta had been deserted if not for the lights that shone on the surface. We would not be meeting many locals on this day.
Mobutu pointed out the town square which all the roads lead to and had a large brass statue of a lunar captain with a large rat at his feet, decapitated and missing an arm. “This must be from a momentous occasion” said Mobutu . I noticed the arm had a special thing to it so i pulled on it and it moved, “Hiza!” i shouted and a secret entrance emerged from out of the floor miraculously. We followed the steps downward into a large conference room and the way sealed behind us. In the room were many important looking men in space suits as well, “who goes there?” said a voice from the centre of the table. “The Adventurer does” I shouted back, “and his trusty sidekick Mobutu” “Are you breeders or greeters” asked the table voice. “ Neither, we’re adventurers on search of treasure” I said proudly. “Well then you’ve come to the right place, Take this lunar rifle and bring back the biggest rat hide you can find, The locals are terrified of another attack and we need something to show them. we’ll reward you handsomely “ So i took the rifle and we headed out to find us a carcass.
We climbed into the rover and headed off to the breeding grounds to find us a rat worthy of a big loot. Mobutu drove this time so i could look cool standing up in the rover with my lunar rifle poised for attack.
Coming soon: Part 2 of The Adventurer Goes to the Moon