The giant metropolis that is San Francisco City has decided to have a zip lining system installed in their roadways that would carry passengers down the city for free, so long as the passengers bring their own certified harness that will be checked by a member of the community that has volunteered for the position
The Mayor had a press conference about the exciting new change in the way people move around the city. “An Eco Friendly option, just let gravity take you down to the coffee shop or to get groceries! You get a little wake up in the crotch every time you ride it, but other than that its a green solution to a worldwide issue: how are we gonna get around?”
The Mayor even took the first ride on the new system which community members really enjoyed. One was quoted as saying, “I feel safe knowing, if anyone’s going to get hurt riding this thing, it’ll be the Mayor and we’ll all be here to see it”
Another said, “I just love the new fashion options I get wearing my Harness everywhere I go, I’ll probably bedazzle mine”
Of course travellers can only take the line downhill, but that’s a minor drawback of being eco-friendly.
“Its fun” says the mayor “You really get to see another side of people when you’re riding this thing, everyone’s laughing and enjoying their day a little more. All thanks to the zip line.”
Major Retailers have taken to purchasing the stops along the way and each one is named after Products the company sells, so it would not be uncommon to hear , “ I’m gonna take the big mac all the way down to the Staples and then hop down to gasoline line just to tell some buddies hey”
The town has really taken a liking to the new system in San Fransisco and I myself can’t help but wonder if this could be a new way of life, everyone wearing harnesses everywhere they go, zipping through the city like drops of rain on leaves in the forest, like grains of sand in the longest hourglass counting down to fuel saved in transportation.
This reporter took a ride on the line and found it positively invigorating! The wind rushing through the hair, the gleeful screams of people on the line in front and behind you, watching the street go by, it’s the most fun you can have in a town and I think it will bolster already high tourism rates. But you can always tell a tourist by the way they wear their Harness.
For the Daily Dangles, this is Joshua Warneke Reporting and saying, I hope you let this one slide.