Can you believe we’re a few months into 2015 already? Have you kept all your new year’s resolutions? I certainly have, because I’m the kind of person that sets her mind to something, and accomplishes the fuck out of it! Do you want to know what the trick to my success has been? I’ll tell you: I live a happy life, because I know that garbage belongs in the trash, and by garbage I mean people that are toxic.
Below is a list of 10 toxic people that you MUST get rid of immediately in order to live a good, long life.
1. The Negative Friend
Negativity spreads like wildfire. These over complainers are a real bummer. If you’re hanging out with a friend like this, you’ll probably notice yourself starting to complain about everything in life, just like they do. Now I don’t know about you, but I want to live a long life, and I can’t do that with a negative energy by my side. This friend certainly belongs in the trash.
2. The Friend That Eats Your Food
Don’t you hate it when you paid for something and your friend is hungry and feels comfortable enough with you to think they can have some? Fuck that! It’s mine. Throw the friend who eats your food in the garbage along with all your leftovers.
3. The Stoner Friend.
I’ll be honest, I’m in my 30’s, and I’m at a point in life where I have everything figured out real nice, and I just wanna have some fun and not take things too seriously. Stoner friends have too many questions, which they can never answer because they’re too high. Stoner friends bring you down. They spend all day smoking weed, and talking about deep shit that makes no sense to me. Sometimes a girl just wants to kick back, and talk about farts and casual subjects. Lets clear that resin (stoner friend) from the pipe and blow it into the trash.
4. The Anne Frank Friend
The Anne Frank Friend is a bad friend because she died in WW2.
5. The Salami Superhero Friend
I gave the Salami Superhero a good and fair chance last year, but he completely fucked me. The Salami Superhero gave me high blood pressure and gout I told him I wanted him out!
6. The BBQ Mario and Luigi Friends
They were put on this list by mistake. Please remove them from this list. As you can see they are perfect.
7. The Happy Pineapple Friend
I don’t like my happy pineapple friend. He owes me money for when we went to see “That Thing You Do” in 1997. I’ve been asking him to pay me back for having spotted him with the movie ticket for almost 20 years now. I’m done with him.
8. The Room Full Of Computers Friend
I’ve gone over to kick it with my room full of computers friend three times now. I even brought a nice bottle of wine one of the times. Now what do I get for going to visit? Nothing, because a friend that’s just a bunch of computers can’t give me any love.
9. The Positive Crew Friends
10. The Me Friend
Because I’m clearly a piece of shit for telling you to follow this stupid ass list. Life isn’t black or white, and human relationships can’t be narrowed down into a list. Regardless, follow my list.