“The Tale of Dog The Boy”
Our little story takes place far a way from your little city, but not too far away, just the right amount of far away. In this not so far away land there lived a young boy named Dog. Dog was a regular boy who minded his own business & never did anything wrong at all…until one day, but we will get to that shortly.
Dog was 17 years old & lived on a farm alone with only his livestock & his pet dog to keep him company. Dog’s pet dog followed him everywhere, they were very close companions. One ordinary day Dog was working in the fields when he noticed a beautiful bird with shining feathers fly out of the brush. Immediately, Dog’s pet dog ran after the mysterious bird which flew into the nearby forest. Dog, worrying about his dog, chased after him promptly.
When Dog found his dog he was sitting in a small clearing wagging his tail & staring at the gorgeous shining bird which was perched on a branch above.
“What’s good?” Said the bird to Dog & his pet dog, “What the fuck you chase me in here for tho?”
“Wow you can talk??” Said Dog back at the bird.
“Hell yeah I can talk you lil bitch. I went to schools, I know how to read, don’t be an asshole bout it” said the bird.
“I can talk too!” Said Dog’s pet dog
“Wow that’s super weird that you have never done that before…especially since I’ve seen you watch me take dumps before. That’s super weird that you are an intelligent being pretending just to be a dog & you watch me take dumps without ever saying a word until now. That’s super weird dude. We are gonna have to talk about this later.” Said Dog the boy to his pet dog. “And as for you bird, why did you lead us into this forest?”
“Well there be this princess & she needs help like for real. & only you, Dog The Boy, can help save her ass. You special, you know that?”
“Oh word” said Dog The Boy “climb onto my hand, bird, & we will be off”
The glorious shining bird flapped its wings once or twice & gently landed in Dog’s hands. He snapped its neck promptly.
“Why did you do that?” Said Dog’s pet dog?
“Because I’m hungry & I don’t feel like doing all that nonsense.
“Oh, word I’m hungry too” said Dog’s dog
And so the two companions walked back out of the woods back to their farm with their newly caught dinner.
“Fairy tales are weird” said the pet dog to his companion.
“Yeah” replied Dog The Boy.