The Moon, Watchful Guardian or Silent Menace? by @jpaulmassengale

We all know the moon. It controls our tides. It lights our séances. It may have even been at your wedding. But how well do you actually know the moon? What is it doing up there, night after night, always keeping watch. Always.. plotting? Maybe.

Close your eyes and try to remember back to a time before the moon. Chances are, you can’t. There are few, if any, of us who were alive before the moon took its fateful station in the night’s sky. The origins of the moon are shrouded in myth. Some say it came from an orphanage in Shang-hi, growing to power through the underground gambling circuits of eastern Asia, eventually bullying its way into the changing political landscape of post-Mao China.

Others say it is a natural satellite of Earth, forming 4.5 billion years ago from debris left over from a collision between Mars and the newly formed Earth. Whichever of these theories is true, one thing is for sure; the moon should not be trusted.

There are a few suspicious things about the moon that many people do not know. For starters, the moon is tax exempt even though it has claimed “not to be a religion” (The Chevy Chase Show, ’93). The moon also does not offer paid maternity leave for its employees. And lastly, although it was never proven, many consider the moon to have been involved in the disappearance of Kyle Dreamworks (the 11-year old boy from Sweet Lips, Tennessee) who went missing while fishing on the moon in 1967.

Our society, like many before it, looks up to the moon. The moon is a foundational piece of our culture. Has that fact blinded us?

I have no charges to bring against the moon today, and maybe I never will. All I ask is that you look at the facts and make your own decision about the moon. To trust it? To maybe sleep with the blinds closed at night? It is your decision to make.

I am sure to receive a lot of backlash, especially from Moon Twitter, for questioning the all encompassing love of the moon. A deeper fear I have in posting this article, thought, are actions the moon may take to silence me. The moon can’t risk tainting its public image with attacking me publicly, but it has connections with some very powerful people. I fear for my family and friends by writing this but I know it must be done.

The last thing I will say about this is that if anything is to happen me please know that the moon was responsible, even if it looks like natural causes… especially if it looks like natural causes.

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