Don't let anyone use Earth Day as an excuse to peer pressure you into going outside. Your couch and your bed are both located on Earth too.
— Jamie Woodham (@jwoodham) April 23, 2015
Look, I'm just on Twitter for completely unsolicited advice on how to better do my job from weird strangers.
— Ian Karmel (@IanKarmel) April 22, 2015
"Hi Sharks. My name is Zach and I'm the founder of Zach's Slacks, slacks exclusively for Zachs. I'm asking for $40 so I can buy slacks."
— Zach Broussard (@ZachBroussard) April 18, 2015
In a world…
Where people strongly support a cause…
but in no way does their support take place…
outside of a computer…
— Jake G (@YourTextSpoken) April 23, 2015
The world's oldest man didn't die, he can't. He's just a different guy now.
— denounced Levine (@bizmichael) June 12, 2013
Guilty feet have plenty rhythm, yall never seen The Cosby Show opening credits?
— denounced Levine (@bizmichael) April 20, 2015
ME: Since we're being honest, sometimes I glue ducks to my feet when I feel lazy and don't want to walk
INTERVIEWER: I just said hello
— Jhorts (@JhonRules) April 23, 2015
Nobody better make fun of me for using outdated pop culture references, are we gnarly on this?
— Jake (@shhrugg) April 23, 2015
Being in the forest really quiets the cacophony of mind noise to one singular thought SOMEONE CHECK ME FOR TICKS
— Amanda (@mobydong) April 23, 2015
Every time I eat Chinese food directly from the carton, I inadvertantly come up with a major breakthrough in a court case.
— David Slack (@slack2thefuture) April 23, 2015