The Ten Hottest Babes (Ranked) by @thenatewolf

You’re a man, right? You’d better be if you’re on the computer. Anyways…

We all love sexy mommas who have fat properly dispersed in a way that tricks us into having sexual intercourse with them. It’s just a fact. Ladies are soft and their crotches are excellent. These gals come in all shapes and sizes but only ten of them are ok. Here are the only acceptable ones.

 

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#10 Blanche 

Looking for a lady who really knows how to shake her butt? Blanche might be your new best friend. She can make spikes come out when she’s in danger and her venom pouch inflates to five times its normal size. SHE DOES NOT LIKE TO BE TOUCHED. Maybe try Blanche?

 

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#9 Myrtle

This girl knows how to put back eggs. How many eggs do you think you can eat? Like 10? At the most? Myrtle eats at least two dozen eggs a day from all sorts of nests. She doesn’t speak a language but that doesn’t stop her from singing. Yowza Zowza, Myrtle!

 

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#8 Vera

Check out those calves, boys, this dame could be the starting catcher for the New York Yankees. Want a bird who can carry you out of a fire? Vera has got you covered. Another nice feature is her secret third boob that only comes out on harvest moons. You can put it on the board, Vera!

 

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#7 Harriet

Don’t be fooled by the gloves, those are genuine robot hands she’s hiding. Finally a woman who can solve her own jar dilemmas and hold on to the side of a mountain for a long time. Mmmm mmmm Harriet.

 

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#6 Mable

Into girls who play the harp? Well go to France. This is America. Mable plays the harmonica. She also knows how to light the bbq properly instead of tossing matches in from a few feet away like you do. She also can split and become two Mables and do heists. Hubba hubba, Mable!

 

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#5 Alberta

This woman is made out of paper. Now don’t judge too quick, it means you can mail her. Think about that. Bananananadingdong, Alberta!

 

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#4 Winnie

Look at those shoes. She’s got em cuz she’s sensible. The girl has a head on her shoulders and feet on her leg ends. Her outfit is made of 100% recycled sheep. She curls her hair with a bunch of small cactuses. Whistle noise, dog panting noise, Winne!

 

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#3 Tillie 

This girl is a climber! She will get into all sorts of trouble but hey that’s why we love these babes. Even when you have to get a fireman to fish them out of a tree, they still make us smile. Tillie only eats live prey. WEEEE – OOOOO – WEEEE – OOOOO, Tillie!

 

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#2 Pearl

This one knows magic. Real magic. She can make your enemies melt. Her whole lower half is just lightning and the stuff that floats in Saturn’s rings. That’s not a dress, that’s her hide. Vroom vroom beep beep, Pearl!

 

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#1 Mae

They call her “stoned Mae” for a reason, she loves to blaze it. She is high all the time but she knows how to handle her shit. She invented a way to make peanut butter cups at home. She can kick harder than any horse, it’s been proven. Hannibal Lecter sucking noise, Mae!

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