The Unusual Dr. Harvey by @SirEviscerate

[Scene: int. Psychiatric Hospital, a doctor’s office lined with expensive looking books]

 

Nurse Danger: Good morning, doctor.

 

Dr. Harvey: Ah, hello! Any new cases for me today?

 

Danger: One, but I don’t think it’s anything too serious. He says he’s got “nerves”. Probably just run-of-the-mill anxiety.

 

Harvey: Hmm. Did he come alone?

 

Danger: No, there was one other person with him. She told me the patient was crazy, haha.

 

Harvey: That sounds serious. Can’t have crazy people running about.

 

Danger: Well, she was clearly just joking around. I think —

 

Harvey: We better have him committed.

 

Danger: What?

 

Harvey: If he really is crazy, he might do something bad and wrong, like a murder, for instance.

 

Danger: That’s absurd. Shouldn’t we at the very least do a psych evaluation on him first?

 

Harvey: No time for that, I’m afraid. I’ve got to get ready for surgery.

 

Danger: You don’t have any surgeries scheduled for this morning, doctor.

 

Harvey: Well, I do now. I’ve got to amputate this crazy patient’s legs.

 

Danger: What the hell are you talking about??

 

Harvey: It’s Psychiatry 101, Nurse Danger. (gestures toward dusty, untouched books.) If a guy is crazy,  you cut off his legs.

 

Danger: That doesn’t make sense. You can’t honestly– (suddenly realizes every patient of Dr. Harvey is missing their legs.) Oh my god…

 

Harvey: You’re looking pale, Nurse Danger. (walks to door) Perhaps you might even look a bit (locks door) …crazy.

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