Do you open Instagram only to be filled with a profound sadness that you can’t quite pinpoint? It’s because you don’t go anywhere, goof. I know you better than you know yourself. What are you doing to advance your brand? Your friends are checking in at places on all their social media. What about your social medium?
1. Your bed.
2. Your new bed after your previous mattress acquired a human-shaped indent. You visited too much. You loved too hard.
3. Your couch.
4. A dark hole of monotony.
5. Your therapist’s office.
6. The Jack in the Box down the street from your apartment.
7. At least one (1) dry wedding. Not yours.
8. A networking event where your ex asks you to download his app with a hint of desperation in his eye but not towards you, towards the app.
9. The funerals of one or more of your childhood friends.
10. The Jack in the Box down the street from your therapist’s office.