I’m setting out today to write something. Why you ask? An excellent question, but one which I don’t know the answer to. Why does man climb mountains? No one knows, and unfortunately there is no idiom or common expression to explain it. The same goes for me writing this piece. As I am writing this very sentence, I have no idea where this is going to go. I have no idea what I should write about, and I didn’t brainstorm or outline anything. Call that careless if you want. I would prefer if you didn’t though. It would be way nicer if you were to call it “spontaneous” or “just the kind of outside the box thinking this piece needs to be successful.” Constructive criticism? I think it’s extremely stupid and you should think of something else to say to me instead.
Writing, like any other worthwhile task, is a challenge. Also like some tasks that seem not so worthwhile, like when you were a kid and your dad would cut the hedges in the backyard and make you help clean up after even though it hurts your back and you have bad allergies and Taylor’s parents never make him do yard work and he has a Sega Genesis and it’s not fair. Looking back, I of course can see that my dad was trying to teach me a valuable life lesson by making me do hard, physical work. Unfortunately, my father failed to foresee the technological and societal changes that would take place over the next 20 or so years, and whatever lessons he thought he was imparting upon me amount now to little more than the meaningless gibberish of an old fool from a bygone era. He doesn’t understand that to succeed in today’s fast paced, global marketplace you need to design an app or invent an energy drink. But I digress…
…Actually I wonder if there is an energy drink app? That could be huge. Anyway where was I? Ah yes. Writing is a challenge. But great writers persevere. James Joyce, Ernest Hemingway, Jane Austen, myself. What do we all have in common besides god given talent and/or a set of male genitalia? Perseverance. In the face of criticism and doubters they followed their dreams of writing sentences on paper about things they made up in their heads, and so shall I. Like the music emanating from the MC Hammer Pandora station in my cubicle I will not be stopped, no matter how many times my coworker Evan politely asks because he “has a deadline and really needs to focus right now.”
It’s been said (probably) that great writing captures the true essence of the author. Well this piece is certainly beginning to do just that, mirroring my life in almost eerie fashion. It’s chaotic and without purpose. There are brief flashes of promise which only make the rest of what is happening that much more disappointing. It is going to end poorly. But while this piece meets the definition of greatness outlined above, I have to admit that writing it has been a lot harder than I thought it would be. You had no way of knowing this but that entire last paragraph was just filler I went back and added because I thought the piece looked too short. Also I have no idea how to end it. A wise man once said (presumably) that when you are faced with adversity you should draw upon your past experiences, and in doing so you can overcome any obstacle. I think back to those days doing yard work with my dad. To this day he is the most hard working, determined person I know. He believes that a job isn’t done until it is done, and he won’t rest until it is. Suddenly I know what I have to do. Thanks for reading this. Always remember to follow your dreams. Who knows, someday you too might write something of great significance or successfully market a beverage with a dangerous amount of caffeine in it. Now if you will excuse me, I’m going to take a quick break to get a drink of water, but then end up staying in the living room and watching tv and hope that my dad will finish this for me.