for when u did a smoky eye for the club & also u no longer wish to see the horrors of this world pic.twitter.com/bZ54qcwXnH
— beth (@imteddybless) September 17, 2015
*limbo voice* "how low can you go"
well I sucked dick for coke once and I've eaten dog food but that was just foreplay. idk. not that low
— audrey honeydrone (@SINGING_GHOSTS) September 17, 2015
Here's where a Google search has led me on this fine Saturday evening pic.twitter.com/oMjNMb1USA
— Chris Scott (@iamchrisscott) September 13, 2015
I heard this woman going off about how there should be an iced coffee emoji & I was like please practice some ingenuity❄️☕️
— Gabby Noone (@twelveoclocke) September 15, 2015
(earlier that day)
God: I don't much care for Job
— thomas violence (@thomas_violence) September 11, 2015
Pulp Fiction (1994): Uma Thurman only takes a few sips of a $5 milkshake after making a super big deal out of ordering it.
— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) September 11, 2015
*pauses porn to check favs on Twitter*
— Atman Thakrar (@AtmanThakrar) September 16, 2015
Accidentally spilled gasoline all over my chest at work and it kind of turned me on. I can't afford for this to be my thing.
— Mike Primavera (@primawesome) September 15, 2015
While you guys were wasting your time talking about politics I got banned from the Yahoo Answers 'Horse' section
— shut up, mike (@shutupmikeginn) September 17, 2015
List compiled this week by @1followernodad check her out on twitter!