28 More Interesting Opening Tinder Messages Than “Heyyyy” by @1followernodad

 

  1. Which of your siblings do you think is going to do your dad’s eulogy when he dies?
  2. Do you know how to skin a deer tell me quickly.
  3. If you have already moved on from Heidi and Seal’s split, un-match me right now.
  4. Are you sad that 50 Cent is bankrupt?
  5. Do you want to be cremated?
  6. I want to look at your knees.
  7. Looking back, I guess I liked the show Monk more than most people.
  8. What’s your favorite part of Shrek? Mine is when Donkey sees Shrek’s house for the first time and says “who would want to live in a place like that?” but then Shrek tells him that he lives there and he says “oh look at that boulder. That is a nice boulder.”
  9. Camels don’t store water in their humps, they store fat. Don’t be naive.
  10. Would you like to open a gay bar with me in Amarillo?
  11. When Kanye says “whatcha doin’ in the club on a Thursday?” that’s hypocritical cause he’s in the club on a Thursday. Right?
  12. My nana is one tough bitch.
  13. Lobsterfest is back at Red Lobster. JK! It’s not til February!
  14. Let’s join a gang.
  15. What is the most unreasonable waffle topping you can think of?
  16. I don’t know about you, but I’m thinking about what kind of corporate sponsorships Courtney Love has turned down.
  17. I will fight you. I will come to your house right now and fight you.
  18. Do you think you like movies with nuns in them more or less than the average person?
  19. Let’s do a word association exercise. I’ll start: unitard.
  20. I haven’t felt a man’s touch since last June.
  21. Scientists don’t know exactly why we sleep but maybe we can look into that together sometime 😉 (THIS IS ACTUALLY KIND OF REAL)
  22. Suite Life of Zach and Cody was the last good show on Disney Channel.
  23. Do you ever have school shooting dreams?
  24. You have to tell me if you’re a cop.
  25. One time in 4th grade I was cast as a chicken in a play and I had to wear rubber gloves on my feet.
  26. Don’t tell anyone you saw me on this app for real.
  27. YOU AIN’T SHIT JUST BECAUSE I MATCHED WITH YOU.
  28. Princess Diaries 2: A Royal Engagement is better than Princess Diaries and only cowards won’t admit that.
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