To Witness the Death of a Pigeon by @ewfeez

“Yeah, I saw it all go down. I’m walking and here comes this white van. Then I see this pigeon, and everything’s slow motion. The engine’s whir: Vrrrrrrooooommmmm. The flapping, Flllaaaaaaap, fllllaaaaaap, floooooooop. The impact: Prrrssshhhhhhtttttmmmmllllllooof. The image is gonna stay with me. I may start drinking.” “What a scene. Red feathers. Floating feathers. A …

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I Am Big in Belgium by @ewfeez

Boom! You hear that, suckas? That’s the sound of me. In Belgium, that is. I’m huge there. Sorry for the redundancy, but I AM BIG in Belgium. You wouldn’t believe it. But it’s true. I’m a national celebrity among the Flemings and the Walloons, who can’t really agree with one another on anything, really, except …

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